Amongst the Joy there is sadness

What a terrible two weeks we have had, but I should have expected it, when good things come the little devil on our shoulders always goes green and the last two weeks have proved that, but he will NEVER get us down.

First of all the good news about Isiah, then bang all the bad news followed.

Our wonderful Joeke, laughing one minute, then a phone call and then absolutely devestated at the news of her good friend passing on.  Everyone just went very quiet and could almost feel her pain.  We were fortunately there for her and could be her strength when she was weak.

We then had a lovely weekend at the South Coast, lots of good fun with the children and most important good weather and good company.

Then back home on Monday - messages to answer, Please Phone Agnus Urgently, before I can pick up the phone, Agnus calls,  Khumalo has been stabbed to death while trying to stop two men fighting.  

Let me tell you a little about Khumalo, he was 80% deaf, did not speak very well but was the most amazing worker.  He did most of the tiling in the bathroom and toilet as well as most of the tiling in Aunty Zamas Room.  He loved the children and took great pride in taking Damon to school every day, out of his own.  Thought Aunty was like a sister to him and nothing was too much trouble for him.  All in all he was an amazing person with all his problems and disadvantages he was a wonderful person.

"Good Bye Khumalo thank you for being part of our lives" 

On Monday morning Sam was not doing too well, but seemed to be a bit happier in the afternoon, but was battleing to keep his food down, but I eventually managed to feed him and he was quite happy watching everyone having fun.

When we came home, he seemed very tired and was moaning a bit, but later on again perked up a bit.  

When Sam came to us he was really weak, just lying with his fisted hands very stiffly lying upin the air at the side of his head, I really did not think he would last very long, having seen this so many times before, well for the next couple of weeks he really thrived, put on a bit of weight, smiled and used to sing a little song when he was content. We had the most wonderful couple of weeks with him.  Given the fact that he was positive and had TB.

Well by Tuesday morning, Sam had given up the fight, and went down very quickly.  Aunty Zama and I rushed him to the clinic, by the time we got there he was not very good, they weighed him 4.42 kgs, almost the weight of a baby of 3 months or so, Sam was 1 year 1 month old.  

The amazing part of it all was that no matter who was holding Sam, if I spoke he would turn his little head and look at me.  And as sick as he was while I was talking to the sister at the clinic, his eyes were focused on me.  I am just so grateful that I could give him the love that his mother could not be bothered to give him.  I understand that maybe she had problems, but he was her flesh and blood and she just never bothered to come and see him or Lucy and that hurts.

I had the privilage of being able to hold Sam as he took his last breath, and just before he did he lifted his little head, with all his strength, looked at me and then he was gone.  I was so glad that we were not in a hospital where it is so clinical that the rip the child from your arms and start poking them with needles and putting things all over them to try and revive them.  He was so at peace in my arms, he actually seemed to have an angelic look about him.  The privilage of holding him until the Funeral people came to take him was amazing.  I know it sounds strange but when my little girl passed away, I was only allowed to hold he for about 5 minutes to say goodbye.  With Sam I could hold him with no restrictions, and saying goodbye to him was so special.  When the people arrived to fetch him, they walked in with a babies carry cot and allowed me to kiss him goodbye, then they took him put him into the cot wrapped him up and left.

I was at peace with that, what a privilage it was to know that wonderful liittle chap.  

I fully understand now, when God said, "when we are weak HE is strong".

It was a very sad few days for us, and on top of it all my mom is in hospital and has had 3 operations in a week, but she is well on her way to good health, and that I am very relieved about.

When telling Donovan about Sam going to Jesus, he wanted to know if he would ever come back, 'No he wont',  so he is DEAD, 'yes he is dead.  Then I told him about Khumalo, his first reaction, well that is good because Khumalo has gone to look after Sam in Heaven.  Oh why cant we ever think like the babes in our lives, life would be so simple.

"With tears of sorrow, and tears of Joy so shall our lives be strenthened by the passing angels in our lives"